Nobody knows why some people fall ill with eating disorders while others do not. Unfortunately the number of victims of eating disorders is growing notably as many know close to nothing about them. As a parent or close friend of someone suffering from an eating disorder it is common to feel helpless, unable to do anything for the sufferer. What are some of the things to keep in mind if you know someone suffering from an eating disorder?

As a parent of a child suffering from an eating disorder it is common to deny any accusations regarding the child’s health. Parents often have a hard time dealing with and understanding their child’s condition as they never considered an eating disorder a possibility in their family. Denying or shutting your eyes to the truth is a common defence mechanism in a situation where you feel helpless and at a loss of what to do. Step one is definitely realization. Realize your situation, accept it, from there you will be able to cope with the situation better. Continuing to deny your situation will only make it worse as it will prolong the suffering for the effected child and only give more time to make the situation more acute.

An eating disorder is a very complicated illness which takes a long time to recover from. Every case is unique in that it may take only one year to recover or several years, a lot depending on the state of the effected person. As a close friend of family member it is important to remember to stay patient. As much as you feel like and would like to just give up because things do not seem to be moving forward, do not loose your patience. Realize that recovery will take a long time and in the process there will be ups and downs, disappointments and achievements but the only way to reach and “up” or achieve something positive is to be patient and try your best to always stay calm.

In order to better understand your loved ones situation it is important that you try to find out as much as you can about his or her disorder. Reading books is always a great start and a strong foundation in enabling you to understand. Make sure you do not only concentrate on one type of book, written from one perspective only. Try to find books both written by someone close to a person suffering from an eating disorder but also books written by someone that has suffered from an eating disorder as well as books suggesting recovery methods etc. Try to absorb as much information as possible from various sources.

In addition to books you can search for information regarding eating disorders on internet, websites like Fashtastic.net and organizations offering help are a good source of information. Another good tip is to join online communities or forums where you can ask questions and have them answered by people in similar situations to yours. Discussing your situation and openly asking questions is always a good way to learn more and gain understanding for your loved ones situation and what to do about it. Also make sure you look into joining your local eating disorders association as they will be able to refer you to help groups and give you more information regarding eating disorders.

As a close friend of family member of someone suffering from an eating disorder it is crucial that you do not forget to take care of yourself as well. Trying to help someone suffering from an eating disorder takes a lot of time and effort and because of the emotional stress added because of your close connection it can take a great toll on you both physically and mentally. Therefore it is important that you, too, seek help by talking to a therapist. Venting your worries, thoughts and questions is always essential in a situation like this, in order for you to be able to cope with and get through this with your loved one.

In addition to all the above it is important that you seek professional help for your loved one as, regardless of your comprehension of eating disorders, you will need the extra help. Partly because it is too big of an issue for you to cope with on your own (because of the added emotional impact) but also because getting external help will mean allowing your loved one professional help from several people that are trained in this particular area of disorders. These people will, moreover, not be affected by emotions that may cause one to act in a way not suitable for the situation, when trying to help the sufferer.

Read the Fashtastic article on; Important and Useful Links.

Sources:
En Närståendes handbook by Anorexi/Bulimi Kontakt (Sweden)
Insikt issue # 5, 2004 (Swedish magazine published by Anorexi/Bulimi Kontakt)

Graphics by: Christina Eriksson